A Painfully Boring Curfew

This curfew thing is killing me. I'm so bleeding bored. It's as though I'm dragging a heavy black cloud around the house. I still don't have much of an appetite because of the fit of diarrhea I had a couple days ago. Last night, I realised that the diarrhea was caused by eating too many of the berries my mum picked from the garden. Those berries are great laxatives.

My feeling sick has made me ever pickier when it comes to what to eat, and in addition to that my mum is still making funny concoctions. When one's joy for food is gone, life can indeed be miserable. Ah but there's booze... haven't run out of that yet, and quite on the contrary to my eating appetite, my drinking appetite is doing rather alright. The one good thing about this curfew is the amount of electricity we're getting, perhaps about ten hours most of which after midnight.

[Several hours later...]

I had forgotten I was writing a post. So the curfew's to be removed tomorrow, which is a great relief. As a class, we've decided we'll skip college tomorrow just to make sure things have really settled down. Nahida's sister who works at the airport will give us a call tomorrow morning in case there's a flight that my mum could hop onto.

A little earlier, the house suddenly began to feel warm so I took a shower. After I got out of the shower, I noticed my mum wasn't inside the house and I found her sitting on her own on the patio enjoying the breeze. She was sleepy, her torso was wobbling back and forth and her head shifted it's gaze suddenly in different directions, kind of like a chicken does. And as I watched her, I was gripped again by the idea that my mum's getting old. But she was sleepy and I don't think she's going to turn senile like grandma anytime soon.

I can remember the first time that thought of her getting old struck me. It was back in 1996, I hadn't seen my mother for perhaps two years and she had come to Baghdad for a visit. She had just got off a long coach ride from Amman. As I saw her smile at me, looking tired and frail from her long trip, it made me feel sick inside, and the idea of her getting old still does.

Now I'm trying to think of what I'll do tomorrow. One thing I must do is get out of the house. There must be someplace nearby I could go. If I don't come up with any ideas, I should at least take a walk to the shops to buy a pack of cigarettes.

Diarrhea, I Can Smell Poo

Bleeding curfew has delayed my mum's Saturday departure. That's alright isn't it? Spending more quality time with mum. Just wish I knew how. I've got diarrhea today. I wonder if it's from the Kebab Od and I ate yesterday. Trying to call him now, but I'm not getting through. I'm chatting to Kiki right now and we're both getting drunk. Him on his vodka and me on my whiskey. Mum and Nahida have baked some pistachio stuffed Ma'moul sweets. I got round to studying a bit today. Read a few pages of international management and played about with the numbers on my MRP thesis project. Damn, I'm out of matches, must get up and find a lighter...

Kiki's gone, he realised he was drunk and went. I'm pretty drunk too, and wondering if I'm going to eat dinner. All I've had to eat today was an omelet and a salad. That's pretty good, I need to lose weight. The looking neat thing isn't going to work if I don't buy more clothes. My passport should have been ready last week, but we've yet to go pick it up. I wonder if it's there waiting, I'm worried that it might not have gone through because I messed up one of my fingerprints on the application.

It's been nearly two years since I've gone on a vacation out of Iraq. That's a long time. Trouble with me, is that I hate traveling, but on the other hand, I do need a break. I've also decided with myself that before I go on a vacation that I want to get the plantation done with, or at least at a stage where I can see myself being done with it.

It definitely seems that I'm wasting my years away here, but at least I know I've got an extreme circumstantial excuse to do so. I doubt I've got it in me to enjoy life. Too lazy. I just have three more months of college to go. Maybe, it's not the vacation in of itself that I need. Perhaps the return from a vacation would be a chance to start fresh.

Looking Neater

My mum came a week ago. It's nice having her here. She's here to get a the new civil ID and a new passport. And as soon as she's got it she'll be heading back home. She's been trying to get me to eat healthier. I've also been having the suspicion she's trying to starve me by sabotaging the food she's made me by adding ingredients that she says are good for me but which ends up ruining the taste. She's also got me eating salads and yogurt drinks. The salads are good, but I'm not fond of the yogurt drinks.

The day before she arrived, I went shopping for clothes with Muni. He picked me out a couple of short-sleeved shirts, a polo shirt, a pair of very tight fitting jeans and a belt. The day before I was planning to wear the clothes at college, the big button on the jeans popped as I was putting them on.

A couple days later, we went to take the jeans back to the shop and got a new button fixed upon them. I also bought my mother an Asiacell mobile phone line from the mobile phone shop where Muni works. It was that day that I posted my last post with that phone line that does have GPRS support. So as soon as my mum goes I'll be switching my number with the one I bought for my mum and I'll hopefully begin to post more pictures.

Everyone at college was very pleased to see me change the style I dress up in. I've started putting gel in my hair, something that the girls in my class have been pleading me to do. I've also stopped wearing my DC shoes and replaced them with leather shoes. And I've been tucking my shirt in. Trimmed my goatie too. The girls began screamed last Sunday when they saw the change. According to the feedback I'm getting, all that's left is another haircut, to let go of my backpack and to stand up straight. Standing up straight is something that my mum has always been nagging me about.

I've only got a few months of college left to go. So I might as well try to put in the effort to look neat for the last stretch. My studying habits on the other hand leave a lot to be left desired. I haven't been studying ever since the mid-year exams and I'm now very behind in my thesis project work. The other girl in my group, Ruru, has thankfully begun to take some initiative and is taking on most of the load. Where as Suzy is still keeping herself as far away as possible from any work.

I've still to pick up the pace in regards to my studies. And I'm noticing that I've grown lazier and lazier for the past couple of months.

Happy Easter!

Testing

Blogging from my mobile experiment

Got Whiskey

Was about to say that it seems that things are getting better here. A couple of days ago, a booze shop opened up on the main street in my neighbourhood. But on the other hand, the bombings have started again. That there be bombings might not be such a big deal though. I don't think the bombings are going to stop more shops from opening or stop people from going out onto the streets later into the evening. I did have a responsibility to support my new local booze shop so I bought myself a bottle of whiskey. It made me so happy to walk back home carrying that bottle in my hand.

Last week, I went along with a couple of my classmates to 'Medical City' to donate blood it turned out my blood's PCV was too high (meaning my blood is too thick or something probably because I smoke too much) and I couldn't donate. On the way back to college we stopped by a nearby hospital and had some of my blood drawn out and chucked away to dilute the blood in my body.

A couple of days ago, we went back to 'Medical City' and I was allowed to donate this time even though I was recommended not to do so because my PCV was now too low. Now I've got bruises on my arms because the nurses have such a hard time poking my small vein or artery. They frustratingly push the needle in and out and moving it all about till they find it.

Last weekend, I got to meet my cousin's finace. He's a nice guy, has a government job is about my age. We went to a nearby neighbourhood and smoked hookahs at a cafe on the main street. When we arrived the street was quite busy and shops were beginning to close up. By the time we got our hookahs and the sun was just about to set, we realised that the street was emptying. Moments later it was past twilight and we left before finishing our hookahs. But it was still cool to be out before sunset.

It was nice to hang out with this guy because I had forgotten the difference between the newer generation that make up my classmates who are all five years younger than me. I can't put my finger on it, but there is a difference. Obviously there has to be considering the different circumstances the people my age and those in my class have went through. My classmates were still in high school when the last war took place, they hadn't really had the chance to live the fun that people my age had.

We also had the nostalgic talk about how we perceived Baghdad to be prior to the war: a very boring place with nothing much to do. But, one thing was for sure though, back then the friends one had were the best.

I'm getting rather sick of Zeina these days. She's really draining my phone credit and she ain't great with the phone sex, she actually makes annoying noises when she does it and doesn't say much at all aside from "put it all in". And between the sleepless sleepovers at Kala's house, the drawing of blood, and all the rest I've been so tired lately that I can't wank more than once at a time whereas she just wants to keep on going.

I've changed a little in the way I speak these days. I've come to realise that people might be able to understand what I'm saying if I were to talk English even though they wouldn't be able to reply back in English. I did have a personal rule that I would never talk English to a person that doesn't speak it. These days, however, I've stopped caring about that rule and will interject freely in English, and leave that can be bothered to figure out what it is I'm trying to say which more often than not is pointless dribble.

Classes have resumed at college and I've got a dreadful test next week. I forgot to get notes from anyone in my class yesterday because I missed two of the last classes for that subject. And I've got to start working on my project earnestly again. I better not get occupied this weekend. Oh but I've already made plans to go shopping for clothes and to have a friend come over on Thursday.

Some thing's wrong: I've had the same glass of whiskey in front of me for over two hours and I still haven't finished it.

Still Holidaying

Today we've had a lot of electricity. More than an hour in one go. I think it's been on at least for two or three hours now. And Nahida said that it came on for several hours whilst I was sleeping this morning. All this compared to the months of the occasional hour or two a day.

I'm still on holiday. I attended Sunday and Monday of last week and then it seemed everyone was decided on skipping the rest of the week and to resume classes the next Sunday, that being last Sunday. I tried to go to college last Sunday, but the road I took was blocked off for the sake of the pilgrims and so I went on Monday and by taking a different road. Traffic was noticeably lighter than usual as a cause of the pilgrimage and a lot of the shops in Karada were closed including the falafel place I was hoping to have lunch from. This week we're not having classes on account of the pilgrimage and of the slight chance the government calls for a curfew in the middle of the day.

And the electricity just went out.

I've started playing Scarface on my Wii. It's a lot like GTA Vice City which is fun and yet a bit tedious. But it's killing my time. My Wii is pissing me off because of the lack of good games available. It's bad enough that it doesn't have such a big number of decent titles, but the worst part is that nobody's bringing any games to Iraq. And I can't download the games either because my net connection is too slow.

Kala's back from Egypt. He got back a couple of days ago, and I passed by to say hello to him yesterday. He looks quite happy to be back. He wasn't really doing anything back there. His parents used to lock him up at home and never let him out and it seems like he's going to go back to that treatment. Even though he seems to be happy to be back, I wonder if he's going to be able to cope with being cooped up again after having had his freedom to go out back in Egypt.

My cousin in Erbil is getting engaged and I've got to attend some sort of gathering at her dad's house on Friday I think. And on Sunday I've got to go to the passport office and apply for a new passport. It's been over a year that I haven't got one. But it's just my luck, that I must go to college on the same day for some review on the progress of my project. Nahida's going to get in touch with the college and explain to them that I can't make it. But I think I could perhaps finish with the passport office in time to make it to college.

This extended holiday has been rather good actually, I've been able to laze about quite a lot. And now that Nahida's brother got released a couple of days ago, my car will be fixed as soon as his health recovers.

Holiday's Over

Tonight's the last night of my two week vacation. I didn't get around to acquiring the services of a prostitute like I had set it out to. That cab driver did call me, and I agreed to meet him two Thursdays ago whilst knowing in the back of my mind that I had every intention of ditching him. I called him the day before Thursday and told him I couldn't make it. Haven't heard from him since.

I'm really not looking forward to going to college tomorrow. I really didn't get much rest during this vacation. I did so many things. The day my exams ended, my dad called and sent me off to the farm the next day for one night to pick up the sums of farm revenues and expenses for the last six months of 2007. After adding them roughly up it came out to a net loss of a few hundred dollars. But I'm not really sure if that means anything. There's more than one way to add up those numbers.

The gaping hole in the back of my car got patched up and looks great. Last week, Nahida's brother was falsely tipped off by someone and was taken by the Iraqi army. He's been keeping in touch and is still in their custody. They admitted that he had been falsely tipped off and that the person that did is going to get into trouble. Nahida's brother is just waiting to get processed out now, which with an incompetent bureaucracy can take a while. In the meantime, the new rear axle I had installed with a one week guarantee started making small noises in the second week.

I went to college a couple of times for the sake of my project. I also went to Suzy's house too because she and another girl make up my project group. Her parents were really nice and old! Her mum was telling us of memories when Iraq was a monarchy. Of how she came along with her brothers from Mosul as a girl to be the one to help them out at home.

I met up with Muni, a classmate of mine, after one of my trips to college. We were supposed to be joined by Zuni, also from college but a different department. We waited and waited for Zuni. Eventually we gave up on him and had lunch at the new Chinese restaurant. And it was a surprising sight, it was so inconspicuous. Tucked into a Karada alley, it was a little shop with a glass wall facing the sidewalk. Inside it had three tables and upon an elevation deeper inside the tiny shop were a grumpy chinese man and a cheerful woman facing other, each one with a frying pan on a stove each. Later on a second Chinese man appeared that seemed to be the manager-like one of three. A simple falafel place looked better than that place.

An Iraqi teenager was there too to help take care of things, he was the one that struggled to speak with the cooks who spook no Arabic and no English either. He showed us what was on offer today. It quickly became apparent that my hopes for some sweet and sour chicken weren't going to realise. The food wasn't great. We started with some pastries stuffed with meat and then a dish of some beef with green peppers and a dish of chicken with potatoes.

Food aside, it was a wonderful experience to see those Chinese folk there getting on with it despite of everything. It was also possible to scrape the sensations that we the diners were in the foreign place in between the cheers of a bunch of Iraqis in a shop on the other side of the road watching China and Iraq playing a game of football.

I had Muni and Zuni come over and sleep at my place during the holiday. Nahida liked them a lot She's been constantly disapproving of my other friends of late, and so that was a nice change. They were really curious to see how it is I live. They were supposed to help me shop for clothes as to change my shabby image.

Zeina still records my conversation and partakes in phone sex in the afternoons and asks me to transfer a dollar of credit to her phone everyday. I see that as a pretty good deal for live phone sex. I recorded one of our conversations too, and realized that it was no fun listening to one's own conversations. It's actually quite boring. Got to erase it before I go to college tomorrow.

One of the two helped me purchase a new telly today, a 32" LCD Samsung (LA32R7) for $725 with a one day guarantee. Nahida's other brother and nephew came over and installed up on the wall for me. And it's pretty nice. I no longer have to strain my eyes to read the names of the songs on VH1 and I can play those Wii games that had really tiny text.

I thought two weeks of holiday was going to be enough, but it wasn't.

It's Fruit Flavoured

I've got a cold. It's a rather strong one too. I've got a runny nose nearly all the time. I feel lazy and a little dizzy too. I'm doing my best to enjoy that high. Rather than rot in a pile of wet tissues today, Nahida's brother came over this morning and we went to get my car fixed some more. There's still that gaping hole in the back. So we dropped off my car at the repair shop and it should be ready on Sunday. I just have one more exam tomorrow and I can't be bothered to study for it. I'm planning to study the material on my way to college. I should be fine.

Yesterday, I went pharmacy shopping. I was hoping to get some anti-depressant drugs (Bupropion) that are supposed to help one quit smoking. But there weren't any. I told them I saw them on Oprah, and the pharmacist said there were drugs that aren't exported out of the States and Europe. I also asked for some for some other anti-depressant (Paroxetine) that causes sexual dysfunction but which in effect leads to keeping it up longer when having sex if one does manage to get it up. After that last experience with Farah I thought I could do with some help. But they were out of stock of that and said that they should have some sent in next week. However, another pharmacy said that Jordan isn't importing it anymore. I ended up walking off with some Aspirin, Vitamin C effervescent tablets, Spray on plasters, and fruit-flavoured condoms.

Back to today, I spoke to Zeina again. and I asked her how she planned to come over without her parent's knowledge. And then things with her started to change. She completely contradicted herself saying that she couldn't come over and then suggested that we could maybe catch a glimpse of each other when she goes to the market with her parents. And then she told me that she lives in a different neighbourhood and that she only studied in the neighbourhood that I thought she lived in. And all the subtle suggestions to have sex disappeared. And so it seems I've made a big fuss over nothing.

I'm tired of being teased. This coming holiday, I'm going to get me a prostitute. In the meantime I'm going to jack off with one of these fruit-flavoured condoms.

Car Fixed

Felt like shit yesterday. Looking back it could be because I gave my phone number and too much personal information to that cab driver on Thursday. Stupid mistakes like that leave me in a bad mood for a while. But I haven't been in a great mood since last Sunday. I remember feeling a little high that Sunday morning, and then everything began to go wrong and I was overwhelmed with negativity. Fortunately, I'm feeling alot better today.

Today, Nahida's bros took me and my car to the Sheikh Omar. I remember that neighbourhood was too dangerous to go to a year or two ago, but it's back in action now. I got a new window, a new fuel tank, a new rear-view mirror and a new rear axle. None of those were actually 'new', but instead second-hand parts; they do do the job though. That annoying hum from the axle is finally gone.

I spoke for five minutes to Zeina today, I beginning to trust her. I'm coming to think that if she was in anyway dodgy it would show through her personality. And then there was that similar experience with Farah a couple of years ago. Exams end in a week and now I'm trying to decide whether or not to tell her that my car is repaired. I'm still waiting for a chance to talk to her about the mistrust I've got towards her to see how she'd react and to explain why my lies haven't been adding up.

It's half past eleven at night now, and I've got to hurry up and begin studying for tomorrow's exam which to my advantage is in English and God knows that the poor suckers in my class have been struggling on it, but not me.

Being Played... Again?

About a month ago perhaps, some girl called me up on my phone. She told her name was Zeina, that she was seventeen and lived in a neighbourhood on the other side of the city. And she'd ask me questions that I'd try not to answer honestly such as where do I study and where do I live. After I had told her what neighbourhood I lived she asked me where exactly. I didn't tell her where I lived exactly and rhetorically asked her if she was going to come and pay me a visit. And the whole time I was able to hear the beeps signaling that she was recording the conversation on her phone. We spoke on the phone a two or three times perhaps and then she disappeared.

A couple of nights ago she called again. And this time she said she wanted to meet up. I asked her if she meant a scenario in which she'd be walking through the shops with her family and in which we'd see each other from a distance but that wasn't what she had in mind, that she wanted us to hang out together and take it from there so to speak. I told her that I couldn't come and pick her up because my car doesn't work, so she said she'd come over to mine. Either way we wouldn't till the holidays start. We finished our conversation with the plan to call each other after midnight (calls after midnight are much cheaper). She was sleeping at her aunt's and when I called her they were still awake and so we didn't get to talk.

So that next day, I asked people about what should I do. Because on one hand this is the chance to get laid and on the other a ploy asking for trouble. It's hard to listen to advice when one's dick is shouting out that this a great chance to get laid. Enie said he thought it was indeed dodgy and that he could investigate her if I could remember what school she attended. Some other person told me that there have been kidnappings of guys done in such a manner. Suzy on the other hand told me to go ahead with it and that that's how that generation operates.

On my way back from college, I asked the cab driver that had said he used to work for intelligence and that on the way had told me the whole story of an Adel Imam movie. Adel Imam is the chief of police and discovers that the cause of husband's murdering their wives is caused by their impotence which is in turn caused by a government that does not take care of the quality of life of its population. The movie ends with a demonstration with people yelling "Enough, Enough" led by Adel Imam.

The cab driver said it would be okay if it wasn't for my wealth status. He suggested that I could stand her up and then the girl might spill out her intent. He also said I could skip the whole headache and just get a prostitute and that he could hook me up. So we swapped phone numbers. After that, I felt that I'm just asking for trouble from strangers.

Weetabix

I got myself some Weetabix the other day when I went over to Enie's house. It reminds me of the days at Pat's house in Lebanon because it was my favourite munchies after we'd smoke up.

Had a weird dream this morning whilst Nahida was waking me up, it involved two friends of mine from Lebanon. Hans and a chick I fancied. It was weird because I felt like I had some control over my actions in my dream and that I could just maybe resolve some lingering frustration that I had towards that girl. But I wasn't able to think of something, and the dream drifted off to a pack of cigarette's that Hans picked that contained a free pack of gum inside.

Saw Fulu at college today. Spoke to her and her friend a little. Had her friend not been with her it would've been interesting to flirt with her a little face to face. I still can't call her anymore, because it would be "weird". It's all good anyway.

I'm trying to meditate these days. Sitting down with my legs crossed, relaxing, trying to follow my breath and find my center. Then I'd try to imagine a light there and let that light spread within me. I don't know if I'm doing it right. But the part when I try to relax all the muscles in my body seems to have a nice effect.

It's all part of me trying to get in touch with my feelings and understanding myself and my interactions better. Most of the time I resemble a sloth, but there are times when I get really nervous and jittery. For example today, after all my classmates left and I was left waiting for Sav so I could hitch a ride back home with him; I walked over to a couple of guys that I'm acquaintance with who were chatting to a hot chick. I got so freaking nervous, I had been introduced to the girl they all pretty much went quiet once. So I rambled, asking them in turn what their favourite flavour of soup was (They preferred vegetable soup over lentil soup). I talked to the girl, and she smiled at me and I did my best to maintain eye contact and smile back before having to leave.

I got nothing but tests coming up. I got one tomorrow, the day after, the day after that and the day after too. The week after my mid-year exams start. It's too much. I've got a mean test tomorrow too: administrative accounting. The number work isn't all that hard really, but there's alot of text to read too. I've decided to not bother with the text and just focus with the number work. The only trouble is that I haven't studied any of the number work today. I was planning to start an hour ago I think, but I've eaten too much and I'm really sleepy.

Actually, I haven't eaten that much. I think I might have a flatulence problem. I'm farting plenty and my tummy feels bloated. What did I eat today? one packet of Peanut M&Ms, one double kebab sandwich (which isn't really that big), one bowl of soup and a bun, three pieces of Bessboussa (some Arabian sweet that I've recently fallen in love with) and one bowl of Weetabix.

Snow

Last night I slept over at Enie's we were supposed to study but didn't. This morning at around half past seven this morning another classmate called him and said it was snowing outside. Enie woke me up, I peeked outside and it was indeed snowing. Unfortunately, the snow melted once it touched the ground. Well after that I was so excited that I went back to sleep.

2007

Achievements of this year:

1. Survived and maintained what sanity I have.
2. Spent more time at the farm than I have ever done so before. And have finally accepted it as part of my life.
3. Didn't lose my mobile phone as I have done for the past couple of years in the month of December.
4. Passed one more year of college.

Failures of this year:

1. Didn't achieve independence from Nahida.
2. Didn't get a new passport nor go on vacation.
3. Didn't nail down Arabic grammar.


That's all I can think of aside from not getting laid at all, losing any weight around the waist, turning vegetarian, and quitting smoking, but none of those were actual goals this year.

How about setting some goals for next year...

1. Finish college.
2. Settle down in the farm.
3. Get a big television and a new laptop.
4. Finish the paperwork I started this summer.
5. Read a novel in Arabic.

All in all it was quite an uneventful and forgettable year.

Off To The Plantation Tomorrow

Eid is coming and dad's told me that I have to spend it at the plantation. Invite the farmers and everyone for a meal. And I was looking forward to chilling at home and doing nothing. Nahida's busy making pastries for tomorrow's trip. Miz is making salad for today's lunch. And my cousin is on his way from Erbil against his mother's wishes. I'm actually looking forward to have my cousin come with me to the plantation, that way some of the spotlight would be drawn away from me. And overall he's more enthusiastic about the whole plantation.

I got back my first test result from college this past week and things are looking good. I got a three out of five on a subject whose lectures I had missed. I'm managing to do my share of work in regards to my thesis project. Last weekend I produced seven pages of material that I had translated from English to Arabic. And I've begun to learn Japanese. I've got myself a notebook and everyday I jot down a few Hiragama letters down to learn. Learning Arabic is again put on hold. Miz the nutcase is more or less living at my house nowadays which is fine because he's quiet most of the time. The annoying thing about him is that he's so damn pessimistic.

Last week, I figured out who Fulu was, I was on a balcony and I saw a girl that I hadn't noticed before and that matched the simple description that she had given me and that was also sneezing or coughing into a tissue. Now she doesn't want us to talk on the phone because I know who she is now and it's weird. Yesterday, she somehow appeared sitting in front of me as I was walking through college. She was awfully nervous and so was I. We chatted for a couple of minutes and then I walked away. We still chat online though, and she does say she misses talking on the phone.

My cousin's arrived now and we've just had dinner. Surprisingly, he's not all too enthusiastic about going to the plantation.

Life Goes On

I had recently got in touch with a high school friend from my days in Lebanon. We spent most of grade 12 stuck with each other. He had run away from home and stayed with me. We lived the direst life of poverty living off of bread and cheese triangles. Once a week we'd go down to the Irish pub and get rat faced because the manager there wanted a favour from his dad and so he gave us lots of free drinks. Then when he came back home, I moved into his house with his family. But after graduating from school, I stayed in Lebanon and he went on to live in Canada.

So after about ten years, we get back in touch through Facebook and last Wednesday we chatted online. He brought up the idea of spending of me coming to visit him in Lebanon and to spend New Year's together at Faraya. The same place we went to together on New Year's eve ten years ago. That night, ten years ago, he had a fight with the driver after we reached the mountain top village where there's a big party every New Year's eve; and he sent the driver home without us. We were left stranded there with no where to go to. We ended up hitching ourselves back to our regular Irish pub that night.

So I promise that the next day I'd get my ass off the couch and go check out the passport office to get a new passport, something I've been wanting to get since June. And it turns out the office is closed to all but those applying for a passport to go to hajj and that considering holidays and all that are coming up, the passport office isn't going to open itself for applications till mid-January. And I was really looking forward to spending that time catching up and having a well-deserved vacation.

That same day, I went back to Bab Alshargi to see my Wii man who had last week come back from his tour of Asia. I had visited him a couple of days before and he had given me a Japanese copy of Super Mario Galaxy but which didn't work. This time, however, he gave me his copy and it did the update that un-semi-bricked my Japanese Wii. So I'm finally discovering all the internet-enabled features available on the Wii, but in Japanese. It's driving me nuts that my Wii is Japanese. Everything is in Japanese. I'm having to guess my way through menus. I've spent some time voice-chatting with my brother trying to have fun with the Miis. He even gave me his credit card details so I can buy some Wii points. But I'm worried that when the games I download on the virtual console won't be any fun because they'd be in Japanese too. I would love to play Zelda: Ocarina of Time for example. I'm thinking I'm just going to have to learn Japanese. I've printed some books already.

Well the guys just arrived, when I get the time I'll write about the story behind this pic of my car...



[the following was added two weeks later]

It was a rainy early morning two Sundays ago. Miz had already left, Mos and I were ready to head off to college early. Since it was early and raining I decided we would drive to college. So off we were in my car. It was around seven in the morning and the streets were quite empty and I was cruising slower than I usually do. Turned right at an intersection, a police car coming from the opposite end of the street followed behind me. A few seconds later there was a bang and the glass of my window to the side shattered. My first reaction was to burst out in hysterical laughter and I continued to drive along whilst Mos too was laughing in disbelief. The car ahead of us pulled over so I did too. Mos and I got out of the car. To my surprise, the driver of the car in front of me was a lecturer I had last year. As we greeted each other and said the custom "hamd-allah ala salama" phrase (Thank god you're safe) my biggest worry was whether the lecturer would spot the whiskey in my breath. In the meantime, Mos had his attention towards the police car that was the target of the roadside bomb that just hit us. My lecturer invited me to take a look at the damage on his car, and a moment later we all agreed that we should all get on our way as shoots were being fired by security forces as is the odd custom after such an incident.

Mos and I drove off and we began wondering what the strong smell in the car could be. We assumed it was the smell of the explosion. At the checkpoint up ahead, the one soldier there asked us if we saw anything and then told us "hamd-allah ala salama" as he gestured us to go pass through. Mos thought that we were going to go on to college, but I decided to drive back home because of the broken window. It was just after passing that checkpoint that I told Mos that I was too dizzy to drive and so we pulled over so he could take the wheel. At first I thought it could've been the smell or maybe I was losing blood and did not know it, and then later I thought it could be that I was hyperventilating through the laughter. My dizziness had Mos very worried too and when we got the car outside my house we got out and he took a look at my eyes to see if I was okay. Fortunately by then most of the dizziness had dissipated. Mos stood on the street talking to his mum as I opened the gate and then drove the car into the garage; it was then that he was shocked to see the gaping hole in the back of the car.

A piece of shrapnel or maybe a piece of the police car had flown threw into the back of the car and into the fuel tank that is behind the back seats. Fortunate for us the piece of shrapnel didn't get past the fuel tank and hit one of us. And a lot of people had said that had we been in any other car and not in a Mercedes then we would've probably had died. Later that day, Nahida's brother also found a tiny piece of shrapnel wedged into the frame of the shattered window.

So after an hour of fussing about what just happened, Mos and I went off to college by cab. It took us over an hour to get there, and the both of us were still amazed to have survived the whole way. When we did eventually get to college we split and then caught up with each other a few hours later to remark that nobody seemed to be impressed about what had happened to us.

Dozy and Cozy

Feeling awfully tired these days, don't know why. I sometimes doze off in cabs, and those punks at the checkpoints think it's funny to stop the cab and wake me up. But then again they might be checking whether or not I'm a dead corpse lying in the passenger seat.

Lots of people are getting ill these days. But not me, because I've got whiskey and a stupid determination to go out in a t-shirt and put up with people asking me why the hell don't I put some more clothes. It is nice to have people to ask me that for a change as opposed to asking me why the heck I'm still here.

If I ever do leave this country it would be so that I wouldn't have to have someone ask me just that one question anymore. Of course, I wouldn't want to end up going someplace, to have people telling me not to go back. It's seriously doing my head in.

Okay that's it, I'm off to bed.

First Chilly Week

Winter hit Baghdad Sunday morning. Finally time to pull out those winter clothes that have been stashed away in the back of the closet. And again, I'm regretting not having bought some winter clothes when I went to the UK last year. I could've told my dad to bring me some wool jumpers from M&S before he came to visit last month. Well instead, I'm practicing mind over matter and am going to college in a t-shirt. I wonder how long I'll be able to keep that up. I could then warm myself up by wearing two t-shirts.

Poink Poink Poink

Didn't get far past those ten pages that I had already read earlier this morning. Chatted on the phone, jacked off, had a dump, Nahida made me chicken escallop, and now the movie I've been watching is over. Parts of me want to run away and escape, and other parts of me want things to fill up the voids. I really need to get the reading on. I guess I haven't done too bad so far. What I've done is better than nothing. I could get some more done before bedtime. I want to take a shower, but there's no hot water. The electricity has been quite scarce the past couple of days. Nahida said it came on around three in the morning last night.

I'm starting to feel bad now about not reading. So my first step is to turn of the television. Done that. I'm now trying to chat to that divorcee I mentioned earlier. Her net connection is rather wonky and keeps disconnecting. It seems her sister and her brother-in-law are always over at her home and she'd have to hide the chat window whenever they're peering over. I think I'm too bored to chat to anyone tonight. Too bored to chat and want to chat in the chance to rid myself of this feeling of boredom. There's so many things I could do. I could take pictures of the things around me and post them here. I could do some tidying up too. Try to remember what my dad wanted me to inquire the lawyer about something to do with the classification of some pieces of land. I need to make myself a proper to-do list perhaps, with long term to-dos. I should memorize the names in Arabic of some keywords regarding my thesis project, such as 'master schedule' and 'bill of materials'. I'm going to be so glad once this year is over.

I'm trying to decide if I should try to do something different with my blog. Perhaps put a lot more pictures of mundane things around me or changing the content to something that might get readers to respond to. I wonder how I would do that. The easy path would be to say something political, but I wouldn't want to do that. I'd need to do find some kind of original format or kind of discussion. Nope, can't be bothered. But someday, if I happen to have broadband or a lot of patience I'll try adding some pictures to old posts and maybe someone might want to share their frustration and pain when it comes to Kleenex that sticks to their dick after masturbating and how painful it is sometimes to rip it off.

Poink Poink

Material at college is accumulating. Attendance at college is a lot better than last year. This week we were assigned our thesis subjects. My group ended up with one that so far appears to be really horrible. Something called 'material requirement planning'. Reading about it on the net, it appears to be somewhat outdated. I was hoping to be doing my thesis in English, but I was then explained they have to be in Arabic. I was shocked to find that there was one thesis subject in English that was handed to another group. I feel so screwed. The only good thing about my group's subject is that the teacher's would be reluctant to fail us.

Lately I've been raking chatting up more girls than ever before, of course I'm getting no where. Things between me and Shady had begun to feel a bit distorted between me and her. After I began to try to talk about our relationship, she gave me some crap about how if I didn't have the intention of marriage then that meant that whatever feelings I had for her were meaningless. I then began to spend less time talking to her. I don't know what she wants. Last night, she was complaining about how things aren't as good as they were between us. I tried talking about things we could do such as not arguing, and then she said that I'm not capable of handling the relationship we had. Truth is I'm not, but we could make what we have more pleasant.

There's another girl, Fulu. Met her on-line back in the summer, it turned out that she was in the same college as I was and that she knew who I was. She had even joked about me to her friends last year, saying that I resembled her uncle. Something she said that began an inside joke between her and her friends. Unlike Shady, she doesn't mind getting kinky on the phone, it seems that her anonymity grants her the freedom to do so. It's been a month of college, and I still don't know who she is. It's like a little game between the two of us. Everyday she'd tell me where she had spotted me and about how she was so scared when I looked at her. I of course am looking at all the girls trying to guess which one she is or simply just checking them out.

There are another two girl's. One's a girl I've been chatting to for some while. Recently she's been having me help her translate things for her to communicate with her friend who I presume is an American soldier. Her dream is to someday work in the US embassy. And there's another, who I met on-line ages ago. I finally suggested we exchange phone numbers to which she responded that it was about time. She's a twenty-nine year old divorcee. So who knows? I might get lucky.

Mos and Miz are still sleeping over regularly. I wasn't expecting them to keep on coming over after classes started. These days they invite themselves over. I don't think I can play another round of Mario Party 8. Mario Party on the Gamecube was more fun. I'm waiting on the dude from Bab-AlShargi to finish off his tour of the far east. I wonder if a US copy of Mario Galaxy will work on my modded Japanese Wii. I should just learn Japanese. Now if I were to manage my time better and if I were more determined that would be somewhat feasible. But then again, I do need to nail down my Arabic first.

I need to go back to studying to studying production management now. I've got to catch up two lectures that amount to over fifty pages. I've read ten pages so far today, but haven't understood much.

Dad Came and Went

Just for a second, I missed the English cold a moment ago.

My dad came to visit last week, a couple days after my birthday. His visit went pretty well. The only time he got close to being angry at me was when he wanted me to switch the channel whilst I was eating my dinner and watching Scrubs. Overall, he was suprisingly happy to see my change attitude towards the plantation.

He did my head in with all the things he had to tell me about the plantation and my future. He was trying to make the most of his time with me I guess. There's so much for me to learn and he's the only one that can point everything out for me. Despite having spent several years on the plantation himself, he understands the business so much more than others who have spent their whole lives in the business.

He also brought up the marriage issue and the suitable cousin of mine in Canada. He told me that I ought to e-mail her dad, and ask him for her e-mail address, and then go on and chat with her online on the premise that I want to get to know family. I didn't feel comfortable with e-mailing some guy and asking him for his daughter's e-mail address. At the time we agreed that he'd help me write the e-mail with him Monday, the next day.

I went to college on Monday hoping that it'd be the day we start taking lectures. The day before I got told off by one teacher after I persistently asked her to give us a lecture. She gave me some deal about how I 'the student' should not be ordering her around, I in return pleaded that I was just trying to encourage her without bringing things like my father's paid one million dinars or that I have to go through one hour of traffic to get to college or that I as a student expect to learn something.

The lecturer of Monday's first class had been on leave and the head of department told us to nevermind taking a class with him. So wound up moping about college yet again waiting for the next class. The teacher had yesterday sat in class with just one student yesterday and he seemed eager to get started. A couple of classmates of mine and I went over to his office just before our class was about to start and my punk classmate friend got the teacher to agree to not give us class till Sunday.

I did not stop whining at my classmates that day. Whilst I was there Nahida's sister called me telling me that she's at the airport and that they're telling her that there's no flight to Beirut tomorrow as had thought my dad, but that there was one today. I explained to her that I wasn't home and that she should call Nahida to get through to my dad. Nahida and my dad were supposed to call me earlier that day to go visit the bank with them. That was another thing that was pissing me off that day.

I was pissed off and hungry. I went over to the nearest decent restaurant that also happens to be quite expensive at $20 a meal. The turkish-coffee guy at the door greeted me very warmly. I hadn't been there since the summer started. He assumed that I had a summer vacation abroad, I wish it were true. I wondered if I had ever tipped him, and if he was being extra nice to me for another tip.

It's always a bit weird going to that restaurant because I'm always the only one that's eating alone and leave as soon as I've finished eating. I've even got a little routine. They bring a bunch of mezzas to my table and I always the little plates that I finish. Whilst I was eating my dad called to tell me that he's leaving to the airport. Which of course sucked because I did want to greet him off, get him to write that e-mail with me so that he could stop badgering me about that girl in Canada and to listen and ask him more stuff about the farm.

When I got home tired and disappointed, I called up Miz and Mos told them to come over and sleep over.