Tuesday, September 18, 2007

In Da House For Too Long Da Da Da

Looking at the archive list of my posts, the last time I posted in the month of September was back in 2004 when I started. Back then I said that having 3 hours on 3 hours off electricity routine was bad. Nowadays I expect just an hour or two of electricity a day. 2004 feels like a lifetime away. But all in all, the last seven or maybe even 10 years are a blur. I'm going to be twenty-six next month. I don't feel I am where I'm supposed to be at that age. But there's nothing to be done about that. I feel like a confused sixteen year old in a forty year old body. I'm looking forward to college a lot, even though it's going to be one hell of a pain. My teachers are going to give me grief for not learning Arabic yet. I had it set in my mind that I'd cement some foundations, but I didn't get past memorizing the conjugation of four basic verbs.

Nothing is going on in my life right now aside from my dad's machinations. I've spent the past week or so stuck at home too lazy to go out. Going out is troublesome. The fight for my independence from Nahida is now a lost cause. I don't even go out to buy myself cigarettes from the shop down the street. I've given up on my car. The battery went flat, today Nahida's bro pulled it out and I think the thing is charging now.

Miz has been sleeping over most nights. He's been getting petrol for the generator for us. We're now stockpiling about fifty litres I think. And since it's Ramadhan Nahida's making futoor for us. And then Mazin monopolizes the TV to watch Ramadhan special shows till midnight. His nighttime monopoly over the telly permits me to play Zelda all day without feeling guilty. I'm really close to the end now, I've got nineteen hearts.

Dad's calling me a lot, lecturing me about how I'm supposed to start taking over things and complaining that he's having to deal with Nahida and Fozzy and I'm not going about with them to learn. He's coming over next month, in time for my birthday. I've asked him to get me a couple of pairs of linen trousers, socks, boxers from Marks & Spencers and an electric toothbrush which at first he refused to get but then changed his mind the next day, Nahida probably had a word with him.

Crap I'm bored. I'm going to try to sleep early tonight. I'll close my eyes and try to focus on something and make myself a dream.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Ass Wipe

Recently it dawned on me why there's so much unfriendly to the nose 2 ply tissue paper in clear plastic bag packs. And the reason which isn't obvious because it's not printed on the pack is that the tissue meant to be used to wipe your ass with. I got the pack from my toilet in front of me now. Gentle and absorbent it says, and believe me there's no way a person should go through a cold with this stuff. And it goes on to call itself facial tissues when it is in of fact it's butt tissue. But I'm a convert to this cheap 'facial tissue' ever since my uncle stayed with me and put a pack of it in the toilet. One of the pack's trademark was my name come to think of it, does my uncle have a sick sense of humour and did he buy that brand on purpose? So the trouble I was facing with normal toilet paper was that bits of toilet paper would get stuck on my hairy butt because my butt would be so wet from using the bidet. The larger area of tissue paper is also a plus.

It's been about two weeks I've been more or less stuck at home. It's really hard to want to go out once I think about the heat outside and the horrendous traffic. And there was that stupid traffic ban earlier this week. I've had Miz and Mos sleepover a lot. Nahida found us a couple of deck of cards and we spent two nights playing konkan (or 51) in the garden. And we made up a rule that after every round the losers do as many push ups as they have cards in their hands to a limit of ten. Miz ended up doing over a hundred the first night because he didn't want to lay down his cards until he was ready to win, whereas I being the least healthy was all too willing to lay down my cards even if it meant losing.

In a couple of days I'll be heading back to the farm. I haven't achieved anything there yet. But I really must get something done on this trip. I've been spending some time trying to make out heads and tails of OpenOffice's Calc whilst I've been here. I've got a lot to learn to make Calc work for me. I'm worried it would get so complicated that I won't be able to get it to do what I want. But when I'll be in the farm I know I'll be able to focus on it a lot better than whilst I'm here in Baghdad. I'm feeling guilty for not getting anything done over there. It's going to be hard to tell my dad I'm going on a vacation if I don't get at least a few things done.