Sunday, March 30, 2008

A Painfully Boring Curfew

This curfew thing is killing me. I'm so bleeding bored. It's as though I'm dragging a heavy black cloud around the house. I still don't have much of an appetite because of the fit of diarrhea I had a couple days ago. Last night, I realised that the diarrhea was caused by eating too many of the berries my mum picked from the garden. Those berries are great laxatives.

My feeling sick has made me ever pickier when it comes to what to eat, and in addition to that my mum is still making funny concoctions. When one's joy for food is gone, life can indeed be miserable. Ah but there's booze... haven't run out of that yet, and quite on the contrary to my eating appetite, my drinking appetite is doing rather alright. The one good thing about this curfew is the amount of electricity we're getting, perhaps about ten hours most of which after midnight.

[Several hours later...]

I had forgotten I was writing a post. So the curfew's to be removed tomorrow, which is a great relief. As a class, we've decided we'll skip college tomorrow just to make sure things have really settled down. Nahida's sister who works at the airport will give us a call tomorrow morning in case there's a flight that my mum could hop onto.

A little earlier, the house suddenly began to feel warm so I took a shower. After I got out of the shower, I noticed my mum wasn't inside the house and I found her sitting on her own on the patio enjoying the breeze. She was sleepy, her torso was wobbling back and forth and her head shifted it's gaze suddenly in different directions, kind of like a chicken does. And as I watched her, I was gripped again by the idea that my mum's getting old. But she was sleepy and I don't think she's going to turn senile like grandma anytime soon.

I can remember the first time that thought of her getting old struck me. It was back in 1996, I hadn't seen my mother for perhaps two years and she had come to Baghdad for a visit. She had just got off a long coach ride from Amman. As I saw her smile at me, looking tired and frail from her long trip, it made me feel sick inside, and the idea of her getting old still does.

Now I'm trying to think of what I'll do tomorrow. One thing I must do is get out of the house. There must be someplace nearby I could go. If I don't come up with any ideas, I should at least take a walk to the shops to buy a pack of cigarettes.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Diarrhea, I Can Smell Poo

Bleeding curfew has delayed my mum's Saturday departure. That's alright isn't it? Spending more quality time with mum. Just wish I knew how. I've got diarrhea today. I wonder if it's from the Kebab Od and I ate yesterday. Trying to call him now, but I'm not getting through. I'm chatting to Kiki right now and we're both getting drunk. Him on his vodka and me on my whiskey. Mum and Nahida have baked some pistachio stuffed Ma'moul sweets. I got round to studying a bit today. Read a few pages of international management and played about with the numbers on my MRP thesis project. Damn, I'm out of matches, must get up and find a lighter...

Kiki's gone, he realised he was drunk and went. I'm pretty drunk too, and wondering if I'm going to eat dinner. All I've had to eat today was an omelet and a salad. That's pretty good, I need to lose weight. The looking neat thing isn't going to work if I don't buy more clothes. My passport should have been ready last week, but we've yet to go pick it up. I wonder if it's there waiting, I'm worried that it might not have gone through because I messed up one of my fingerprints on the application.

It's been nearly two years since I've gone on a vacation out of Iraq. That's a long time. Trouble with me, is that I hate traveling, but on the other hand, I do need a break. I've also decided with myself that before I go on a vacation that I want to get the plantation done with, or at least at a stage where I can see myself being done with it.

It definitely seems that I'm wasting my years away here, but at least I know I've got an extreme circumstantial excuse to do so. I doubt I've got it in me to enjoy life. Too lazy. I just have three more months of college to go. Maybe, it's not the vacation in of itself that I need. Perhaps the return from a vacation would be a chance to start fresh.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Looking Neater

My mum came a week ago. It's nice having her here. She's here to get a the new civil ID and a new passport. And as soon as she's got it she'll be heading back home. She's been trying to get me to eat healthier. I've also been having the suspicion she's trying to starve me by sabotaging the food she's made me by adding ingredients that she says are good for me but which ends up ruining the taste. She's also got me eating salads and yogurt drinks. The salads are good, but I'm not fond of the yogurt drinks.

The day before she arrived, I went shopping for clothes with Muni. He picked me out a couple of short-sleeved shirts, a polo shirt, a pair of very tight fitting jeans and a belt. The day before I was planning to wear the clothes at college, the big button on the jeans popped as I was putting them on.

A couple days later, we went to take the jeans back to the shop and got a new button fixed upon them. I also bought my mother an Asiacell mobile phone line from the mobile phone shop where Muni works. It was that day that I posted my last post with that phone line that does have GPRS support. So as soon as my mum goes I'll be switching my number with the one I bought for my mum and I'll hopefully begin to post more pictures.

Everyone at college was very pleased to see me change the style I dress up in. I've started putting gel in my hair, something that the girls in my class have been pleading me to do. I've also stopped wearing my DC shoes and replaced them with leather shoes. And I've been tucking my shirt in. Trimmed my goatie too. The girls began screamed last Sunday when they saw the change. According to the feedback I'm getting, all that's left is another haircut, to let go of my backpack and to stand up straight. Standing up straight is something that my mum has always been nagging me about.

I've only got a few months of college left to go. So I might as well try to put in the effort to look neat for the last stretch. My studying habits on the other hand leave a lot to be left desired. I haven't been studying ever since the mid-year exams and I'm now very behind in my thesis project work. The other girl in my group, Ruru, has thankfully begun to take some initiative and is taking on most of the load. Where as Suzy is still keeping herself as far away as possible from any work.

I've still to pick up the pace in regards to my studies. And I'm noticing that I've grown lazier and lazier for the past couple of months.

Happy Easter!

Friday, March 14, 2008


Blogging from my mobile experiment

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Got Whiskey

Was about to say that it seems that things are getting better here. A couple of days ago, a booze shop opened up on the main street in my neighbourhood. But on the other hand, the bombings have started again. That there be bombings might not be such a big deal though. I don't think the bombings are going to stop more shops from opening or stop people from going out onto the streets later into the evening. I did have a responsibility to support my new local booze shop so I bought myself a bottle of whiskey. It made me so happy to walk back home carrying that bottle in my hand.

Last week, I went along with a couple of my classmates to 'Medical City' to donate blood it turned out my blood's PCV was too high (meaning my blood is too thick or something probably because I smoke too much) and I couldn't donate. On the way back to college we stopped by a nearby hospital and had some of my blood drawn out and chucked away to dilute the blood in my body.

A couple of days ago, we went back to 'Medical City' and I was allowed to donate this time even though I was recommended not to do so because my PCV was now too low. Now I've got bruises on my arms because the nurses have such a hard time poking my small vein or artery. They frustratingly push the needle in and out and moving it all about till they find it.

Last weekend, I got to meet my cousin's finace. He's a nice guy, has a government job is about my age. We went to a nearby neighbourhood and smoked hookahs at a cafe on the main street. When we arrived the street was quite busy and shops were beginning to close up. By the time we got our hookahs and the sun was just about to set, we realised that the street was emptying. Moments later it was past twilight and we left before finishing our hookahs. But it was still cool to be out before sunset.

It was nice to hang out with this guy because I had forgotten the difference between the newer generation that make up my classmates who are all five years younger than me. I can't put my finger on it, but there is a difference. Obviously there has to be considering the different circumstances the people my age and those in my class have went through. My classmates were still in high school when the last war took place, they hadn't really had the chance to live the fun that people my age had.

We also had the nostalgic talk about how we perceived Baghdad to be prior to the war: a very boring place with nothing much to do. But, one thing was for sure though, back then the friends one had were the best.

I'm getting rather sick of Zeina these days. She's really draining my phone credit and she ain't great with the phone sex, she actually makes annoying noises when she does it and doesn't say much at all aside from "put it all in". And between the sleepless sleepovers at Kala's house, the drawing of blood, and all the rest I've been so tired lately that I can't wank more than once at a time whereas she just wants to keep on going.

I've changed a little in the way I speak these days. I've come to realise that people might be able to understand what I'm saying if I were to talk English even though they wouldn't be able to reply back in English. I did have a personal rule that I would never talk English to a person that doesn't speak it. These days, however, I've stopped caring about that rule and will interject freely in English, and leave that can be bothered to figure out what it is I'm trying to say which more often than not is pointless dribble.

Classes have resumed at college and I've got a dreadful test next week. I forgot to get notes from anyone in my class yesterday because I missed two of the last classes for that subject. And I've got to start working on my project earnestly again. I better not get occupied this weekend. Oh but I've already made plans to go shopping for clothes and to have a friend come over on Thursday.

Some thing's wrong: I've had the same glass of whiskey in front of me for over two hours and I still haven't finished it.