Saturday, March 28, 2009

Prostate's Good

Last night, I spoke to my dad's friend who has a hospital and asked him for a urologist. He told me to go to his hospital today. I got there at nine in the morning and he had already left. Over the phone the doctor told me to come to his clinic on the other side of Baghdad but a couple hours later I figured that I didn't have the time to go all the way over there. So I headed to a local street where lots of doctors are to be found and picked the first urologist I found. His sign was new, so I guessed that he probably was a doctor that returned as a result of the improved situation. In his office he still hadn't finished hanging all his plaques.

I explained to him that my penis was leaking something watery and he asked me if I had been 'naughty'. I told him I had 7 weeks ago. He then got me on the bed, felt around my tummy, took a look at my willy and gave it a painful squeeze. Then he told me to turn over, so I lied down on my tummy but he wanted me to lift myself on my elbows. That's when I saw him put some cream on his glove. He told me to look forward and he inserted his finger into my bum. He asked me if I felt something was pushing out and yes it did feel so. My prostate's good he said. He then gave me a piece of paper to take to the lab to get a urine test and if necessary cultures.

Walking down from his office I spotted a friend from college. He asked me how I was doing, I told him I got fingered! It then turns out that the doctor was his dad who had been abroad and was suffering from cancer, but is now nearly recovered. I did my pipi test and didn't end up having to do any cultures. The doctor prescribed me some antibiotics and told me to come back in ten days. And I've got no idea what's wrong with me.

Oh no! I'm on antibiotics which means I can't drink up anymore! Good thing I got well wasted last night.

Later this evening, my dad took me to that 'lady of society' that I've mentioned before. She had found me a 'suitable' woman and we were all invited at her house. The girl was not especially pretty and certainly didn't know how to do her hair nor how to dress in this century. I spoke to the lady outside and told her that she looks a bit heavy to which she responded with you can't have it all good to which I replied that I worry about my back. It went pretty well, dad kept his cool for once and didn't bring up the 'marriage' subject out loud. The evening passed and I didn't exchange a single word with her, but I still had fun conversing with everyone else present.

On the way back home, dad insisted on giving his opinion and that included the fact that the girl was nearly two years older than me which I guess explained why he didn't jump the gun this time. I'm ready to give up on my dad's help now. I'm thinking I'm better off focusing on my work for the mean time and then make a drastic life change so I can meet more women.

7 comments:

San Antonio Cicily said...

So the doctor never confirmed if you have a sexual disease or not? Well its too bad you can't just pick your own wife.

Anonymous said...

the joy of condoms...ho ho ho

Anonymous said...

I hope you don't sleep with prostitutes and women when you are married and bring some disease home to your wife, there are some diseases that you can't cure with antibiotics such as AIDS!!! You just end up dying from it. I guess the women in your country have no choice though, they must be virgins when they get married and the men can sleep with whomever even though they are married. Never mind that what ever you catch you can pass on to your wife and unborn children. This is just sick!

Anonymous said...

Of course you don't sound like much of a catch anyway, drinking and smoking weed and sleeping with hookers. I can't see why any woman would want to marry you.

Anonymous said...

Iraqi man you sound awesome to me. No different than us in the States: booze, weed, and hookers--a winning combination world wide!

Anonymous said...

Yeah thats just what every woman is looking a drunk pothead with herpes.

natural prostate health said...

I wonder where this post was going? Take care of yourself and always remember to make smart decisions.