Happy Place

I stopped using those pills last night. It was so hot last night. Something went wrong with the electricity in the whole neighbourhood. I figured that the Lorazepam pills weren't going to be enough to put me to sleep despite of the heat. Finding out that they belong to the same family of meds as Valium, kind of put me off the idea of swallowing them pills too. On the other hand I just read that of all the benzodiazepines it's the least addictive.

I was supposed to go to the farm tomorrow. But Nahida has decided to delay the trip another day. I should be driving ourselves there since the car seems to be reliabe enough now. I'm not too confident of my highway driving, so I ought to be careful. I'm really going to need those pills when I go to the farm.

I need to make a happy place in my head, just to make these days more bearable. Even though I know that these coming summer months will pass me by just as the many months before, I really want to make them special somehow.

The obvious way to make a summer special is to go on a trip abroad, but the last few trips I've had brought me down. When I see how things are so much nicer abroad, I begin feeling bad about Iraq. Maybe the solution is to visit someplace more screwed up than Iraq. How about the United States? If you'd say that Iraq became a worse place because of the Americans, then shouldn't it follow that the States be much worse due to their longer presence their. Nobody except maybe a Red Indian would agree with that.

I can't afford to travel anyway. What then could I do? I'm definitely going to spend a short time with my cousins in Kurdistan, but that's just as boring as Baghdad but the cooler climate is a big plus.