Silences In Between

Riding in a taxi on my way back from college today, I passed the one street where booze is sold abundantly regretting that I hadn't made any provisions for booze today. Today's my birthday and I'm spending it sober (Yes Tomas, I screwed big time). I'm handling it well, despite feeling a silent resentment for all the twists and turns that have led me up to this point and ending up the way I am. I'm not feeling as hungry as usual, haven't eaten much today.

Shady was the first to wish me happy birthday. It was four in the morning, and so she was the first. She surprised me because I had refused to tell her when my birthday was previously but she dug it out on a social networking site. At college, only four guys from my class showed up including me. Two of them bought me lunch as a birthday gift which was very nice of them. Whilst i was at college Zaif called me to wish me happy birthday as well as my mum. My dad's wife called too, but I had my phone on silent.

Dad just called me now, told me to save some of my birthday cake. Didn't make one yet. Told him that we're waiting for him to arrive. Which he is tomorrow. Despite my better judgment, I'm still not quite sure if it's worth asking for a new laptop. With my taking over the farm, I could just buy one and charge it as a farm expense. A new car perhaps? I'd rather wait till I graduate, but I'll throw the idea at him anyway.

Something odd has been happening recently. Men, grown up men, have been coming up to me to beg. Usually, it's just kids, old women, or the two combined. Yesterday morning, Miz dropped Mos and me off near the Sinak bridge on his way to college. After getting off the car, some really scruffy guy came up to me with his hand out to shake mine. And as it is a habit, I began to reach out but then realised that I don't know this guy and he's just going to waste my time to beg for some money, so I just ignored the guy and walked past him. The same thing happened with a much less scruffier guy the last time I was there a week ago.

Mos and I then hitched another cab, and I got off near my college on his way to work. After crossing the street some guy asked me for some money so he could get himself home. I lied and told him that I didn't have any change to give him and walked off.

And today it got even creepier, whilst the guys and I were at the restaurant I left to get some farm accounts photocopied. At the photocopying shop a dirty looking dumb (the kind that doesn't speak) guy with a large cloth sack slung over his shoulder comes in and begins to gesture for money. The shop owner refused to hand the man any cash, said that he hadn't had any work yet. But this beggar was persistent and began poking me and gesturing at me too. I refused to give him money too. And then he made a throat slitting gesture and pointed at the army check point, I think he was suggesting that I should give him some money otherwise I'd have trouble with the army guys. The shop owner and I were both surprised for a second, but didn't bother talking about it after the beggar shortly left. But then the beggar came back, and again began poking and gesturing for cash. I gave him a long slow look into his eyes, he held out his hand for a handshake, I took it and then we kissed each other on the cheek (nothing gay about that here, it's just how men say hi to each other over here). He gestured one last time for some cash, I again refused and he left.

I wonder if this is going to get even creepier tomorrow.