Sunday, May 04, 2008

Piling On and On

Yesterday, our department from college along with another one held a lunch-time party at a restaurant, the last installment of our graduation celebrations even though we've yet to really graduate. I was in a really bad mood that day. Nahida kept bugging me about my tie and collar not being straight before I leaving the house. Then on the way, after picking up a couple of the guys the car stalled a couple of time. Whilst waiting for the car to choose to work I figured that I could get the car running using a little trick which worked.

It seemed we were the first to get there. Not even the organizers were there. We walked in and having been here before I started to the the guys there to get a drink before anyone else showed knowing it was going to be an alcohol-free party. I knew this place had booze because the last time I came here was with Farah and I ordered a bottle of wine.

The guys told me to wait and then a couple of US soldiers walked in asking for the owner. They were pointed to the back and then came out to the bar to buy a bottle of booze each. After they left, I too got my fix. For 10,000 dinars ($7) I was poured a miniature Johnny Walker whiskey in a glass. The guy serving me the drink warned me that the bar was to be closed during the party and showed me to hide the drink in the neat shelf below the bar.

One of the organizers and a friend of his showed up shortly, and I had to greet him with a kiss with my whiskey breath but he didn't say a word. After I discreetly had one more drink, his friend asked me what I had to drink with a big grin. I denied that I had drunk anything and he grinned even more and pointed out that I had whiskey on my breath. He went on to brag about having drunk half a bottle and I gave some discourse on drinking in moderation is best. My concern was not to give reason for the organizer to get pissed off and make a drama.

I never drink Johnny Walker whiskey, it didn't take me much time to realise why. I started to feel tired and was becoming very hungry. Fortunately the appetizers came in early and I had myself a feast. After which I became quite sleepy. Of the guys, I think I danced the least that day. My class seemed to have to split into two groups whilst dancing and I danced with both. More moments of me that I really don't want to see on tape.

The party had started at around eleven in the morning and finished around four-thirty in the afternoon. Half-way through I was struggling to keep myself awake. But it did end and the weather was nice enough not to have to pretend that the air conditioning in the car works. The air conditioning needs to get repaired again. Dropped the guys home and then got home and laid my ass on the couch in agony. Nahida was still upset with me for having a go at her that morning. I was tired and grumpy to care.

I was grumpy and tired the rest of the night and was wondering why was it that my ass was hurting so much. It had been a couple of days since I notice a slight pain, but it was noticeably there now. My trouble was that I couldn't quite pinpoint it. Today too, it was quite obvious to everyone that I looked exhausted and it was all because of that annoying pain coming from my butt. I had figured that the pain was coming from above my anus and that I must've bruised my butt but I'm certain I never did fall on it or anything.

It wasn't till I got back home today that I had myself a good look at my butt in the mirror that it became clear that I've got piles yet again. So I dashed out in the car to find me some medicine pretending that the air conditioning works. I got myself a different brand from the one I got last time. But was disappointed to find that it didn't have that relieving menthol ingredient. The pain has subsided however. And another pain, Nahida, is back. It was so nice that she left to Shamiya today, leaving the house to me. So unfortunate that she had to come back the same day.


Average American said...

Just for the "get Shaggy laid fund", I checked out the wood wine rack ad. Hope you succeed in your mission! I also hope the "pain in your butt", both the piles and Nahida, bother you less. Stay well Shaggy.


Mister Ghost said...

Shaggy man,
Don't say I didn't try to help you:

Piles home remedies and natural cures, Questions and answers
Piles treatment using Dry Figs

Three of four figs should be soaked overnight in water after being cleaned thoroughly in hot water. They should be taken first thing in the morning along with the water in which they were soaked. They should also be taken in evening in the similar manner. This treatment should be continued for three or four weeks. The tiny seeds of the fruit possess all excellent quality of stimulating peristaltic movement of the intestines. This facilitates easy evacuation of faeces and keeps the alimentary canal clean. The pressure on the anus thus being relieved, the hemorrhoids also contract.
Piles treatment using Mango Seeds

Mango seeds are an effective remedy for bleeding piles. The seeds should be collected during the mango season, dried in the shade, powdered, and kept stored for use as medicine. This powder should be given in doses of about one and a half to two grams with or without honey, twice daily
Piles treatment using Jambul Fruit

The jambul fruit is another effective remedy for bleeding piles. The fruit should be taken with salt every morning for two or three months during its season. The use of the fruit in this manner during every season will effect a complete cure and save the user from bleeding piles for his entire life.
Piles treatment using Radish

White radish is considered highly valuable in piles; 100 mg of grated radish mixed with a teaspoon of honey may be taken twice daily in treating this condition. This vegetable can also be taken in the form of juice mixed with a pinch of salt. It should be given in doses of 60 to 90 ml, morning and evening. White radish, well ground into a paste in milk. can also be applied over inflamed pile masses to relieve pain and swelling.
Piles treatment using Turnip

The leaves of turnip have been found useful in this disease. The juice of these leaves should be extracted and 150 ml given to the patient. It is, however, necessary to take a proper diet of raw fruits and vegetables while taking this juice. For better results, 50 ml of the juice should be mixed with equal quantities of juices of watercress, spinach, and carrots.
Piles treatment using Bitter Gourd

The juice of the fresh leaves of bitter gourd is also valuable in piles. Three teaspoons of the leaf juice, mixed with a glass of buttermilk, should be taken every morning for treating this condition. A paste of the roots of the bitter gourd plant can also be applied over piles with beneficial results.
Piles treatment using Ginger

Ginger is also useful in this disease. Half a teaspoon of fresh ginger juice, mixed with one teaspoon each of fresh lime juice and fresh mint juice, and a tablespoon of honey, constitutes an effective medicine for piles.
Piles treatment using Onion

Onions are valuable in bleeding piles. About thirty grams of this vegetable should be finely rubbed in water and sixty grams of sugar added to it. It should be taken twice daily by the Patient. It will bring relief within a few days. Onion is also useful in the treatment of dry piles. A crushed onion, skinned and roasted in aches, may be applied with beneficial results.
Piles treatment using Wheat Grass

Wheat grass juice used as an enema helps detoxify the walls of the piles. The general procedure is to give an enema with lukewarm or neem water. After waiting for twenty minutes, 90 to 120 ml of the wheat grass juice enema is given. This should be retained for fifteen minutes.
Piles treatment using Sesame Seeds

Sesame seeds are also valuable in piles. They can be taken in the form of a decoction by boiling twenty grams of seeds in 500 ml of water till it is reduced by one-third, or as sweetmeats. Ground to paste with water, they can be given with butter for bleeding piles.
Piles treatment using Chebulic Myroblan

The herb chebulic myroblan is a popular remedy for piles. It is very effective as a laxative and is highly astringent. The fruit should be roasted to a brown colour in cluster oil, and then powdered and stored. Half a teaspoon of this powder at bedtime will bring about normal bowel movements in the morning, and the astringent property of the fruit will heal masses. A decoction of the herb prepared by boiling six 10 seven dry fruits in half a litre of water should be used for washing bleeding piles. The paste of the fruit mixed in a bland oil is good as an external application.

Piles diet
Piles : Home Remedies suggested by users
Fruit diet

The treatment of the basic cause, namely, chronic constipation, is the only way to get rid of the trouble. To begin with, the entire digestive tract must be given a complete rest for a few days and the intestines thoroughly cleansed. For this purpose, the patient should adopt an all-fruit diet for, at least, seven days. Thereafter he may adopt a diet of natural foods aimed at securing soft stools.

Other Piles treatment

A patient with piles must make an all-out effort to tone up the entire system. Exercise plays an important corrective rule in this condition. Movements which exercise the abdominal muscles will improve circulation in the rectal region and relieve congestion.

Shaggy said...

Cheers for the advice Mister Ghost. Thankfully however, I can today say that my piles have gone :D but I'll be sure to refer to your advice the next time it happens.

Mister Ghost said...

Alright Shaggy, finally some good news out of Iraq :)

Well, I thought of you a couple of weeks back, because I was trying to burn a pile of brush/branches in the backyard, but it had rained the day before so I needed an accelerant, and I didn't want to use gas to get the branches burning. So, I used two large bottles of whiskey and vermouth. I think the whiskey was Seagram's VO.
I know, LOL, it was shameful waste of good alcohol...