Thursday, October 15, 2009

Clarification on a Point in Previous Post

In my last post I started off with:

How do these people tolerate their miserable lives in this country? Why does it feel like I'm the only one who is so unhappy with things and in other words why can't I find myself a normal girl to sleep with. It's not just that really, but then again it might be just that.
But to clarify, what it is that bothers me is that people men and women don't socialize in public. It's alright for a guy and a girl to phone each other now that there's no risk of any of the parents picking up the phone or chat on the internet. As long as it's out of sight of the judging eye of society.

Why is it that if people see a guy and a girl out together that they have to come to the conclusion that they're dating. It would be nice if I could someday go to a classmate's house, say hi to her parents and go have some lunch or dinner.

What I'm trying to get to is why can't guys hang out with girls just like guys hang out with guys. If a guy sleeps over at another's house it doesn't mean they're going to bum fuck each other, so why shouldn't it be the same when a girl sleeps over. That is an extreme analogy, but it gets to the point.

I don't think it's just society and its judgmental attitude that's to blame. The guys and the girls are to blame too somehow. Guys here in general have a disrespectful attitude towards girls. Girls on the other hand think of themselves as so precious. So precious, that she would only go out with a guy if she was indeed on a date with him, which ultimately supports society's view of a guy and a girl out together.

In the end, you end up with two halves of society that don't take the chance to get to know each other so that they may respect each other on a personal level and not necessarily thing of each other as something to sleep with or marry.

Since I'm a guy, I should defend my camp. It's so hard to have a personal relationship with a girl that when one does finally get to do so with a girl, that girl gets the focus of his urge to procreate. As for the girls, I'd like to see them explain themselves without blaming us guys.

7 comments:

San Antonio Cicily said...

Why don't guys and girls socialize? Is this just the way it works in your country, do the parents of these girls forbid the girls from socializing with guys. I thought that Iraq was a little more relaxed about men and women socializing than say Saudi Arabia, where there is no mixing of the sexes! My Iraqi friend told me that if you want to marry a girl that her parents or mother would go to the others house and then eventually the boy and girl might meet but they never get to see each other alone. Is this true?

San Antonio Cicily said...

Also how do men have a disrespecful attitide towards women could you please explain I am just trying to understand! Thank you

Lynnette In Minnesota said...

I don't think it's just society and its judgmental attitude that's to blame. The guys and the girls are to blame too somehow.

You're right, Shaggy. I remember having a discussion with another Iraqi blogger who talked about meeting Iraqi girls (via the internet) in another country. I would say this guy was fairly modern in outlook and respectful of women. Yet even he wondered about a girl who met him in person in a private place. I got the impression he thought her a little easy because she did so. What he didn't seem to think of was that by meeting him, she might simply have been trusting him. He jumped to the other conclusion first. It was an old-fashioned type of attitude to have. (If you recognize him, don't tell him I said that! lol)

I just read an article about an Iraqi man here in the States(Arizona) who ran over his daughter and her friend with his car. He claimed it was because she wasn't adhering to "Iraqi values". I don't know the details of what upset him, but I can maybe guess. A little more live and let live would go a long way.

It's so hard to have a personal relationship with a girl that when one does finally get to do so with a girl, that girl gets the focus of his urge to procreate.

When you don't have many options, you go with what you have.

Here, the younger people (teens to early 20's) will do a lot of things in mixed gender groups, as friends. There isn't as much pressure to form intimate relationships right away. If you do, fine, but it's not something that is expected. It really does allow people to get to know one another and takes away some of the tension.

I really think part of the problem with a society like Saudi, for instance, where you have the extreme societal or religions mores that require full body covering, would be the repression of normal sexual desire. So you get more of the extreme types of behavior.

That's not to say that we don't have our own problems, of course. For us, in some cases, it may be going overboard the other way. Like anything, a balance must be found.

Glad to hear from you, btw. I heard there was a bombing in Karbala recently.

JG said...

If you recognize him, don't tell him I said that! lol

My guess is Abbas! ;)

Anonymous said...

JG......that was my thoughts exactly. ;)

Lynnette In Minnesota said...

Hi, JG!

Shhhhhhh!

;)

lol!

JG said...

Hi Lynnette,

:)))